Let's go dancing in the minefields and sailing in the storms

The future freaks me out. It puts butterflies in my stomach. It puts a childish grin on my face. It puts my mind in a million different directions. It makes me nervous. The future looks at pictures of the past and prompts me to move on. The past looks at the future with hesitation. The future pulls me in a direction I’ve been waiting for my whole life it says to me “Jessi, this is what you want! What are you waiting for?”, but my childhood pulls me in the opposite direction screaming at me “Where are you going? I’m not done yet!”
But then God breaks through the thoughts, He goes around and picks up every thought, every word, and every punctuation mark and puts them in three separate baskets. One is labeled “Future”, another “Present” and finally “Past”. Then he picks me up puts me on His lap and points to the basket labeled “Past” He says


“Daughter, my beloved, my princess, this is over with. People come, and people go. Hold on to your pictures and memories; hold on to the happy, throw away the sad. Forgive those you need to forgive. Forgiveness is not saying that the one that hurt you was right. It’s stating that I am faithful and I will do what is right.”


Then my Abba Father walks over to the basket labeled “Future” He picks me back up and sets me back on His lap, wiping away some tears, He holds me close and says;


“My love, my precious child, I have revealed a piece of my heart regarding your future. Take it, hold on to it, and trust me when I tell you something. You heard me correctly, it might be scary, it might be exciting for you, but wait patiently. Everything will play out the way I want it to, in MY time. I will only give you pieces of the puzzle that I know you can handle. I’ll never give too much. I know it’s hard to wait for what I’ve promised, I know it seems like it will never come, but trust me baby girl, trust me.”


Lastly my Daddy walks over to the basket labeled “Present” and says to me


“My baby, my girl, why are you having trouble living in this? I’ve given you this day for a reason. Once it is over, it is gone forever. What will you use it for? Will you use it looking at pictures from the past and dreaming of tomorrow? Or will you use it to enjoy the blessings I’ve given you, the people I’ve given you, or the breath I’ve breathed into your lungs? Enjoy now. Enjoy this day, this hour, this minute, this second; because once it passes you by, it’s gone. Remember what I’ve told you about the past and the future, but this is now, make it count.”



We're not dead my friends, let start acting like we're alive.

Show me Your glory

I've only updated once since I've been here, and if I made my best attempt to try and explain all of the things I've learned, all of the people I've met, even all the places I've been I would never be able to do it justice.

God has been speaking to me. And I really mean speaking to me, not just "oh I think this is what God wants me to do" as it's been for the past 4 years, it's "Oh hey God, I hear you LOUD and CLEAR!" Walking in a constant awareness and friendship with the holy spirit is something I couldn't explain unless you've experienced it. It's like having an on-going conversation with the God who made the heavens and the earth, the one who died upon a cross for a wretched sinner like me, and the one who is won't relent until He has it all. And when I got here, I finally threw up my hands and yelled to the heavens "HERE I AM. All of me, finally, everything, I am wholly Yours"
I've learned that out of the 6 billion people in this world, the 6 billion souls, God still wants to listen to me. To my one soul.
I've learned that laughter and friendships knows no bounds. That when there is a common purpose amongst a group of people then there is always love, always friendship, and there is no judgement.

Life in this house is always interesting. There is never nothing going on. As I sit here in the living room typing this, I hear the chatter of the cleaning crew, the pounding feet upstairs, and someone yelling "BRITT!". There is always someone singing, playing guitar, chatting on the porch swing, playing a hardcore game of volleyball or yelling something hilarious.

Life is SO good.
I've never been happier, and I am SO excited to see where God takes me and my future :)

Love you all,

Jessi

And so it begins...Week one!

Week one at YWAM Charlotte has been such an adventure! I love each and every person here! Everyone is so unique and the house is always full of singing, guitar, laughter, games, and talking. The front porch is full of people sitting on the swing, talking and laughing. The house itself is amazing, it's huge and historic. It is full of places to it and talk with God, talk with a friend, talk with a loved one back home. I am so happy to be here getting to know everyone better, and more importantly getting to know my beautiful savior even better.

A typical day for me is busy and full of laughter and learning. 7 am starts the day with breakfast, where I greet Emily with a happy "Guten Morgen!!" Next we walk down the block to a local church where we spend an hour of quiet time with the Lord, then, we all file into the classroom for a few hours of lecture. Each week we have a speaker who comes in teaching us on a certain topic. This week we had Dave Beuhring. He was phenomenal, I'll post some of my notes later on. Around 11am we have a break to stretch and eat a snack, then another hour of lecture. After we're done with classroom time for the day we walk back to the house for some lunch prepared by the beautiful Katie Roeger. After lunch we all have assigned "Productive Creativity" which means we fellowship with each other while doing chores. It took some getting used to, but thus far I enjoy that. Then at 5:30 we have dinner. After dinner depending on the night we either have free time, academic/homework time, on Wednesday nights we either have our children's ministry called Front Porch, or local evangelism, on Thursday nights we have a worship service at a local church called "Reset". And then lights out is at 10:00pm! And by that time, I am SO ready to climb into middle bunk, turn on my fan, and go to sleep :)

Life here is so fun. I love it. God is moving in huge ways, and I am so excited to continue to keep you all updated.

I love you all!!

God is Love,
Jessi

Sing to the Lord

Found in Your hands, fullness of joy
Every fear suddenly wiped away here in Your presence

All of my gains now fade away

Every crown no longer on display, here in Your presence

Heaven in trembling in awe of Your wonders
the kings and their kingdom are standing amazed

Here in Your presence, we are undone
Here in Your presence, Heaven and Earth become one
Here in Your presence, all things are new
Here in Your presence, everything bows before You

Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in every way
Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in every way

Here in Your presence, we are undone
Here in Your presence, Heaven and Earth become one
Here in Your presence, all things are new
Here in Your presence, everything bows before You

I can tell that we are gonna be friends....

God is awesome.
I am always in awe of the way he works things out.

Time out: I am also in awe of His grace. I could never do something that would make Him not love me...I am a wretched, unworthy sinner...and He still forgives and offers love and grace...beautiful.

Back to my original thought.... :)

I love how God provides and works things out! I have been LOVING getting to know my friends in Monroe. We are SO much alike. God brought us all together to be amazing friends...that will soon turn into family.

SO excited. SO ready to be there!

On another side(ish) note, thank you to everyone who has donated financially to me. God will bless your offerings :)

I have 25 days until I leave.
I love you all.

God is love,
Jessi

Give me faith to be strong, Father I am so weak...

All too often I make an attempt to steal control away from God.

I think I am able to handle this world on my own.

I am so thankful for my forgiving and gracious Father. He holds me close when I collapse from lack of strength and tells me He loves me more than anything in the world. He offers me more grace than I deserve.

He picks me up, brushes the dirt off, and takes me back. He always takes me back, He always loves.

Thank you.

I leave in 44 days. Each day that passes the excitement inside me grows more and more. I am so ready to see God move in huge ways. I am so excited to meet my class, the people I will spend six months with.

God is amazing. I could never live without Him. I cannot imagine life without Him.

I am so grateful.

God is love,

Jessi

2 months!

I have two months to the day I leave.

I ask for continued prayers.
You all mean SO much to me :)

God is love,
Jessi