Promises

"For over a year I have been praying for what God wants with my life.
And he has answered LOUD and CLEAR. He wants me in missions. He wants me doing his work every single day. For a long time I thought God was calling me into nursing. I got comfortable and complacent there.
God showed me that comfortableness and complacency in itself can be a sin. It is accepting where you are and rejecting where you could be.
I am so thankful God speaks to me, and shows me what He wants from me.
I am a wretched sinner, and He still speaks to me."

-Blog post from May 2010

Friends, can we just revel in this for a second?? This life of missions has been over three years in the making.

If Jesus tells you something no road block, no amount of time, no amount of doubt will stop Him from fulfilling His promises to you. God is big enough to do all of this without us and yet He chooses to carry out His love for this world with us and through us.

mmm, beautiful.

Trust.

Day in and day out I sit in my office at Munson. I sit here listening to the clicking of keyboards, the voices of the lobby, the phone ringing, and to my thoughts.
Today...today it feels somehow different. It's like having a realization that my time in this chair, in the office is limited to the next month and a half, which is scary. And not scary in the "I just watched The Shining and now I'm scared." or even "I have no idea what's coming so I'm afraid of the unknown.", it's a good scary. A crazy scary. A wild scary. A scary that is experienced when one surrenders their will and desires over to The One who will mold and shape what we has planned into what He wants and sees and knows is best for us.
At least 10 times a day I am seized with fear of not fundraising enough money or leaving my job and a steady source of income. I'm walking on the water and trusting Jesus to not let me drown. This is a good scary, this is a satisfying scary, because walking in the will of Jesus is something that cannot be explained, only felt. It is a comfort and peace that surpasses any and all understanding I thought that I had in my life.

He feeds and takes care of the sparrows friends, He will also take care of you and I, we only have to trust Him.

Come, follow me.

"Full time missions" saying it out loud still seems crazy, in fact, it seems so crazy that sometimes I just stop and think about how small and ordinary I am but what a big and extraordinary God I serve.
As I sit here in my little apartment nestled into the center of small town Traverse City, Michigan it is easy to become overwhelmed with how much is going to take place over the next 66 days.
1,584 hours.
95,040 minutes.

All I can think is "Lord, how is this going to happen? That's a crazy amount of money to raise in that short of time!"
And my human anxiety and flesh momentarily take over threatening to fill my mind with doubt. And then Jesus comes, sits me down, and takes me by the hands.
"Jessi, daughter, this task is daunting and impossible in the eyes of many. Continue to follow me and I will prepare the road ahead of you, supplying you with all that you need."

Then there is only comfort, only hope, and only love.